Hudson Russell Davis wrote...
At Last Honesty
God: “What’s the matter?
Me: “I’m lonely!”
God: “I know! Don’t you think I know that?”
Me: “Yes Lord.”
God: “Then what’s the problem?”
Me: “I’m lonely.”
God: “What do you want?”
Me: (Repressing the honest answer I speak:) “I want what you want Lord.”
God: “You have it.”
Me: (dead silence)
God: “Something is still bothering you. What is it?”
Me: “I’m alone.”
God: “Why is that a problem?”
Me: “I’m not happy.”
God: “And why not?”
Me: “I don’t want to be alone.”
God: “You said you wanted what I wanted.”
Me: “Yes Lord.”
God: “You have it.”
Me: (silence)
God: “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
Me: (at last honesty) “No Lord.”
God: “Then you do not want what I want?”
Me: “I do, but I also want to be married. I also want what I want.”
God: “The problem is not your desire to be married. That is a good desire.
The problem is that you expect that I should give you
what you want when you want and how you want.
If a sparrow does not fall without my knowledge...
If I dress the lilies in such splendor...
If I cloth the grass of the field which so quickly withers...
Do you imagine I have forgotten you...my beloved?
I have not forgotten you...do not worry.
God: “You are still troubled...why?”
Me: “I’m lonely.”
God: (gently) “I know.”
This is kind of where I am. It has taken a while to get to this point but it would seem that even though I was not purposely trying to fill the void with women and other things I still was. Today I say no more. Today I kiss dating goodbye until the one I am supposed to be with knocks me out from behind like a ninja. (figuratively not literally, knocking me out is not a good thing) I have recently met a woman with whom I feel I can be very me but it seems God has other plans. So for now I am just tightening the strap and hanging on for the ride. I shall take the time spent seeking God and not focusing on the opposite sex. God said, "It is not good for man to be alone" I find that though it is not good it is often necessary.
Though this may not be what you have been expecting it is what is written for tonight.
~The Elegant Patrician
